Dear Amy: My wife’s sister moved to the beach opposite her husband a few years ago.
Both she and her husband are very spartan, making our home an annual and only vacation. While here, they spend most of their time with their old high school friends. It is clear that we are their “free” accommodation.
My wife enjoys spending time with her sister very much.
However, they are both politically opposite to us and very conservative. They used almost nothing while here and offered a one-time, affordable dinner.
Whenever I visit their town (I have friends there), I stay at a hotel.
They have never provided a home or asked us for dinner or drinks.
I will accompany them on their visit as a “good spouse”, but I wonder. I know my wife never says no.
Also, my sister-in-law refuses to be vaccinated against the COVID virus.
She opposes wearing a mask and vaccination. I understand this is her choice. However, I don’t want to invite people who refuse vaccinations to my house.
I acknowledge her right not to be vaccinated, but can I say that she doesn’t want unvaccinated people to stay at home?
— Tired of my sister-in-law
Dear tiredness: Based on the vast amount of questions similar to you, it is becoming increasingly clear that many are using vaccination questions as a way to ultimately stop spending time with people they dislike. I will.
It didn’t come to your mind that this couple didn’t have the means to entertain you, or they might be confused about their home compared to yours.
If your wife enjoys her sister’s visit when she is healthy, she should continue to welcome her sister and brother-in-law on annual leave. These visits should not exceed five days or so and should continue in the future as long as the wife so desires.
Their annual visit may be a good opportunity to travel alone for yourself.
The CDC guidelines now state that “vaccinated people are vaccinated against a single household with a low risk of serious COVID-19 disease without wearing a mask or physical distance. You can visit with people who have not received the vaccination (including children).
I think their vaccination status may not be an issue if you have very close friends and family who really want to spend time.
Yes, it’s your home and you can set the rules (with the consent of your wife). However, as long as you at least personally understand the actual motivation for doing so.
Dear Amy: I am a 26 year old man.
My mom wants to do a guided Segway tour for years in downtown Portland, Oregon.
This year we decided to pay for it and do it together.
Not too expensive, but I can’t afford cash.
To my great disappointment, my mother immediately asked if I could invite my sister to visit from Washington on the weekend.
Now I love my sister, but when she’s by her side, she leaves a big footprint. There are few opportunities for others to really interact. In addition, my mother and sister meet often — at least Twice a month.
Am I selfish because I don’t want to invite my sister, let alone pay?
I want this gift to be everything my mother wants. Also, I don’t want to be painful and disappointed after trying to reach a loved one. help!
— Segway’s son
Dear son: Naturally, I want to spend time alone with my mom.
At the end of the tour, my sister should meet you at one of Portland’s cafes and suggest that you entertain the group with coffee.
Dear Amy: Thank you for executing the letter from the retired teacher and his wife, “Grandpa,” who wanted to pay college tuition for their prestigious “grandchildren.”
When I was about to pay for college, some seniors in my small local church handed me envelopes and checks to help with my tuition. I couldn’t do it without their kindness.
— Thank you
Dear thanks: How cute. I hope you have been inspired to reward these generous people by prepaying their kindness.
(You can send an email to Amy Dickinson. askamyamydickinson.com Alternatively, send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter askamy or Facebook. )